Monday, October 27, 2008

Suitor Number One.

Zamboni Harmony was created on a whim October 26 2008 with the intent of allowing hockey fans to make love connections. Actually, it was more so me sending Lori a link for Zombie Harmony and she read it too fast and thought it said Zamboni. Thus, this survey for funsies was born.

Filling out the first dating survey we have Jared of London of Die Hard Blue and White. Jared can also be found on Despite being an avid bacon enthusiast, Jared stays in tip top form. Just what are you in for?

Let's get down to the questions.

Have you ever dated or been associated with Elisha Cuthbert, Alyssa Milano or Hillary Duff? If yes, have you been recently tested for a venereal disease?
No thank you, Christina Hendricks or nothing....o.k. Maybe Angelina Jolie. Crap, which way to the free clinic?

True or false: My ass is bigger than Sidney Crosby's.
Not anymore! Thanks to the Rod 'The Bod' Brind'Amour's new platinum diet and workout program I've lost an astounding 27 pounds! Thanks Rod!
Oh yeah....False.

Rate your flexiblity on a scale of 1-10. 1 is Kyle Wellwood and 10 is Roberto Luongo.

5, I'm a Curtis Joseph coming cold into the the shoot out level of bendy.

Your stick is: wood or composite?
Wood, nothing beats a nice stiff shaft for scoring through the five hole.

Sarah Palin is......
a. destroying hockey
b. using it for political gain
c. I'd tap that
(note: C will result in application denial)

D. Not relevant to my ignorant Canadian ass.

Don Cherry is....
a. full of shit
b. composed entirely of shit

You take that back! Don Cherry is a saint, a delusional, amnesiac, colour blind saint!

You like to go: top shelf or five hole?

I'm not a sniper, I'm a power forward who likes to crash the net, I'll take goals any way I can get em.

High heels at games; yes or no

No, they make my feet hurt, but make my legs look FABULOUS!

Role playing potential: can your acting skills rival the likes of Derek Roy?

Denzel has nothing on Roy, I'm more in the Bryan McCabe "there is no man behind the curtain" acting.

My dad is Michael Therrien. He says he wants to meet your "soff" ass. How much do you love me?

Tie down my jersey and get out the mouth guard, I ain't afraid of no ghost.

Boys, you're walking down the street and Sean Avery criticizes your girlfirend's outfit. you
a) say, "Well you know what, Sean? That belt is SO last season!"
b) should have bought her the Alyssa Milano outfit she asked for
c) Wave anything your hand in his face to distract him while she runs away
d) ask him if Cuthbert gave him the herp
e) call him fatso and refuse to shake his hand

A then D, then take the woman out for ice cream.

Your girlfriend wants a custom jersey for their birthday. But you utterly hate and despise the team and the player that she wants. Do you still buy her the jersey?

I would never date a Sens fan. It's against my religion.

Your girlfriend asks you if "you wanna go? you wanna go" in a thick canadian accent. Explain your following actions in detail. Slower....yeah. Just like that.

Drop the gloves and jump her from behind like Todd Bertuzzi.

The Slapshot question: On a date, would you bring your fucken toys with ya?

Of course, the fun and games don't end on the ice