Friday, November 14, 2008

Suitor Number Ten.

Girlies, I have a treat for you. The ever foxy Turd Ferguson filled out a profile. Don't let the name fool. Homeboy is a hottie. Admit it, you'd let him unzip your dress.

Have you ever dated or been associated with Elisha Cuthbert, Alyssa Milano or Hillary Duff? If yes, have you been recently tested for a venereal disease?
Hilary Duff is a gold-digger and I wouldn't touch Elisha Cuthbert because she annoyed me in 24 (it didn't exactly help that I was playing Resident Evil 4 around the same time I was really into that show, and there's a female character in that game who's a lot like her, so every time I see her I just think of the girl in that game screeching "LEEEEOOOONNNN! HEEELLLLPPPP!"). As for Alyssa Milano, let's put it this way: Rose McGowan made Charmed watchable in my eyes. The woman who ruined Carl Pavano's career, though, doesn't.

True or false: My ass is bigger than Sidney Crosby's.
Maybe. It's smaller than Jaromir Jagr's, though.

Rate your flexibility on a scale of 1-10. 1 is Kyle Wellwood and 10 is Roberto Luongo.
3, which I think registers a Carlo Colaicovo.

Your stick is: wood or composite
At one time, I was so old-school that I did a Bobby Orr tape job on my stick, so it has to be wood.

Sarah Palin is......
a. destroying hockey
b. using it for political gain
c. I'd tap that
(note: C will result in application denial)

I'll go off the board and select D, "the reason why the Blues went down the shitter".

Don Cherry is....
a. full of shit
b. composed entirely of shit

B, mostly because nothing human could make his lovely suits.

You like to go: top shelf or five hole
Ooh, a tough one. Going upstairs is always fun, especially when you knock the Gatorade bottle off. But in my time I've gone between the pads a lot more.

High heels at games; yes or no
Only if the game was preceded by dinner at a place where one needs to dress up.

Role playing potential: can your acting skills rival the likes of Derek Roy?
They're better than Colby Armstrong's acting chops, that's for sure.

My dad is Michael Therrien. He says he wants to meet your 'soff' ass. How much do you love me?
Oh. (If your dad was Claude Julien, though, that's a whole 'nother story.)

Your girlfriend wants a custom jersey for her birthday. But you utterly hate and despise the team and the player that she wants. Do you still buy her the jersey?
Probably, but if she wants to wear a jersey at breakfast I'd slip one that I like better over it while she's in the bathroom.

Your girlfriend asks you if 'you wanna go? you wanna go' in a thick canadian accent. Explain your following actions in detail. Slower....yeah. Just like that.
Drop those gloves, baby.

The Slapshot question: On a date, would you bring your fucken toys with ya?
No, because you're stupid when you do that. Just some English pig with no brains.

A woman is wearing a pink hockey jersey. but you find out she know about everything about hockey. she is smart, witty, can rattle off Stanley cup teams from years ago. does the pink jersey make her less attractive?
Not necessarily. If she was only wearing the pink jersey because her regular one was in the wash, it'd be acceptable. But only under those conditions.

1 comment:

teri springer said...

No stick....but I do have a "Bobby Orr."