Suitorette Number Eight.

Well boys, aren't you in luck. The suitorettes just keep pouring in but you know, you need to apply as well. Z Harmony believes you don't find your love match unless you put yourself out there. Today we have the famous Sherry of Scarlett Ice


I'd think twice before crossing her.

Your hockey boyfriend loses a fight. Does his ass sleep on the couch? Or do you nurse him back to health?
Aw, hun. He wouldn't even be my hockey boyfriend if he lost a fight.
But, hypothetically I'd nurse him back to health...and then couch.

The Ovechkin Question; do you like rides on Segways?

Segway or no way, that's what I say.

The Staal Question: one you've done one, you've done them all?

With all due respect to the Staals, DO NOT WANT.

The Slapshot question: On a date, would you bring your fucken toys with ya?

Of course.
You do mean pepper spray, don't you?

True or false: My ass is bigger than Sidney Crosby's.

Sigh. If only.

I like my sticks; stiff and straight or curved for performance

Whichever one gets the job done.

Put yourself in Sidney Crosby's shoes. You're living with Mario Lemieux. Give a detailed plan of how you're going to get it done. Then send all suggestions to Sidney Crosby along with a bottle of champagne, strawberries, and a smooth Jazz CD.

If Sidney Crosby can't get it done, there is no hope for the rest of the male species, is there?

Pierre McGuire
a) looks like a penis
b) is a penis
c) just made you throw up a little inside your mouth.
d) makes you rock back and forth hands over your ears shrieking "make it stop."

C and D at the same time. Although I would also accept E: A low-rent version of Tobias Funke.

Todd Bertuzzi is _____________
Getting me points in my pool so I will not say anything bad about him until that changes.

High heels at games; yes or no

The only excuse you have for wearing heels more than an inch at a hockey game is if you just came from the opera or something.

Your boyfriend wants a custom jersey for his birthday. But you utterly hate and despise the team and the player that he wants. Do you still buy him the jersey?

Why would my boyfriend cheer for a team I hated? How did he become my boyfriend in the first place? Was I drunk? Does not compute.

Don Cherry is....
a. full of shit
b. composed entirely of shit

A, but I have to add that I think he's all sorts of awesome at the same time for that exact reason.

Ladies: your boyfriend asks for a Don Cherry suit for his birthday. is he
a) gay
b) trying to dress up his inner douche bag.
c) he's only doing it for funsies


If you're pondering a) then has he given back the Cher CD that he "borrowed" last month?

Don't own any Cher CDs, thankfully. I'd hope it's c) but if it's b), I just might have to kick his ass. And make him watch "What Not to Wear" with me. Which might conversely turn him into a). Huh.

Your boyfriend asks you if "you wanna go? you wanna go" in a thick canadian accent. Explain your following actions in detail. Slower....yeah. Just like that.

"Where are we going?" *Bambi Eyes*

I like my goalies....
a. standing up
b. buttery
c. hybrid
d. on their back

...I totally thought b. said "Butterfly" and I though nothing of it...very tricky you guys.
I like my goalies. Period.

Finally, what would the title of your hockey porn be and what would the set up be?

Well, "Through the Five-Hole" always made me a giggle.